Clifford's Valentines

Clifford confuses me but Layne likes him. We picked this up after Valentine's Day.

Clifford wants to make a valentine for everyone on Birdwell Island. All the residents give him presents which I guess are just gestures to keep him appeased. If I lived on a small island with a 20 foot dog, I'd be sure to give him presents too. But not too many to make him feel welcome - you don't want him doing his business in your backyard. In retaliation to all the gifts, Clifford draws a humongous heart in the snow. Aww.

The Book of Me

I'll have to scan the cover in at some point. This was very 70's ish and Mommy enjoyed that.

It's all about me; head, toes, feet, etc. Very cute and very 70's. All I have is that it was published by Hallmark.

Layne like the little ladybugs on the little 70's kids toes.

Happy Birthday to You

I may have said previously that we heart Dr. Seuss. It's still true.

I don't think I ever read this one growing up.

It's all about what happens on your birthday. It's all very magical and wonderful as usual - hot dogs, camels, cakes, presents, and parties. But the repeated chorus is, "If you'd never been born, well what would you do? . . . be? Why, you might be a WASN'T". You're special for being born and you're special because you are you.

The ending got me a little teary, "And I wish I could do all these great things for you!" (The reader most likely being a parent saying they would lavish their child on their birthday if they could.)

Layne was interested in the pictures but didn't get the deeper meaning. Guess who's getting this read to him on every birthday for the rest of his childhood.

Curious George Takes a Job

Or How Curious George Got High on Ether.

We meet George again who's now bored of zoo life and his absentee owner, The Man with the Yellow Hat. George leaves the zoo and explores the city. He ends up in a kitchen infecting the food with god knows what. (Was he quarantined when he was brought into country? This is Outbreak all over again.) The cook puts George to work washing dishes instead of calling animal control. When that doesn't work out, he's sent to the elevator man to wash windows. George does a decent job of that until he looks into one apartment and finds painters leaving for lunch. George enters the apartment and by the time the painters have returned, he's painted a kick ass mural of his jungle home on the walls and furniture. A chase ensues which leads to George falling 20 feet to the sidewalk and breaking his leg.

This first part is pure hi-jinxs but now we enter the problem area. George is taken to a people hospital and admitted. He's fixed up and then left ALONE with a room full of drugs. George being curious and all gets high on ether.

At point in time was it funny for kids book characters to abuse drugs?

Eventually TMITYH shows up and collects George. Could someone for the love of god call Animal Precinct?!

Love Is...

I would just like to say I freaking hate Precious Moments. Yet we have one of their books.

This book is sweet and simple and incredibly unrealistic. Yes, I know, kids books are like that. I really did want to vomit after reading it. The only redeeming quality is that it didn't use the g word.

The real answer - love is filling your friend's ex husbands apartment with praying mantis eggs.

A Bug, a Bear, and a Boy Go for a Ride

This is a book about cooperation.

The boy and the bug cannot move the wagon holding the bear. After several attempts they finally get the right idea and all ride down a hill together.

Layne was mildly entertained.

Skating on Thin Ice

Joe and Rosie the elephants love to ice skate together. One day Joe meets Flo another elephant and he ditches Rosie to skate with Flo. Apparently Flo is a wee bit heavier than Rosie causing the ice to break under Joe. But Rosie is there to rescue Joe and he learns not to stray.

I think there are several morals to this story. Cheating will kill you. Rosie is a doormat. And elephants should really not ice skate.

Cookie's Guessing Game About Food

Layne's favorite Sesame Street character is Cookie Monster. Elmo is a close second but my son is no sheep. He even made his own sign for Cookie.

So this month Target had Sesame Street books in the Dollar Isle. Guess who was bent over on the floor digging through the bins. Our prized find was this Cookie Monster book.

Ok, Cookie may have an eating disorder. In this little book you have to guess which food Cookie is describing. The last food he describes is of course, cookies! He does go through pizza, bananas, and milk so he's sort of balanced.

Layne isn't really interested in descriptions of food since they are still foreign but he liked Mommy's cookie voice.

Barnyard Dance

You can dance if you want to...

Yay, we have another Sandra Boynton book. Yes, the animals are cute and the rhymes are adorable but Layne and I don't get why people rave about her books. If we want rhymes we pull out the Dr. Seuss Bible. So overall, we give it an "eh".

Let's Find the Colors

This is Layne's second most favorite book.

Little Donald, Daisy, and Pluto are out for a picnic. Each page asks you to find a color. Layne likes the little bugs that are often hidden.

The colors are rich enough and its a good hunt and find activity for Layne.

Teddy's Toy Box

Board book number 17 of the year.

This is mostly pictures. Teddy's is cleaning out his toy box and we have to count how much stuff he has. Damn capitalist Teddy. You start off counting toys and then it gets a little weak at the end. I don't think counting markers and crayons is really an exciting way to reach 20.

Wormy Worm

There's really not much too this one. It's cute and shot and worm centric. Layne wasn't too into it. Just a lot of pictures of worm butts and heads.

Mr. Happy

This was disturbing. Based on the reviews on Amazon, I'm all alone here.

Mr. Happy, who's obviously on something, goes for a walk and finds a door in the woods. He goes through and runs into Mr. Miserable. Mr. Miserable is everyone who's ever lived and loved and lost. Mr. Happy however has to "cure" him and takes Mr. Miserable back to "Happyland". It takes some time but eventually Mr. Miserable finally becomes brainwashed and he becomes happy...just like everyone else.

I took this as statement that we should live, feel, and react in the exact same way as everyone else. And if we don't, there's something wrong with us.

Fight the power.

It's Tigger Time

This has been Layne's favorite book for about a year now. It's a Pooh book firstly and the pages flip out to view what the other characters are doing.

Tigger visits all the characters in the Hundred Acre Wood and you follow along to see what everyone is up to. Mostly the same personality disorders for each character. But you do get to see Roo take a bath which Layne loved. We're big into comparing other people to ourselves right now.

ABC Bunny

Yet another board book.

This one tells the very short story of Little Bunny who goes to the zoo with his grandmother. The find animals and items in the zoo for each letter of the alphabet.

It was pretty white bread as far as the animals went. No aardvarks or even baboons.